one month in singapore !

It’s been a month since I landed in Singapore and a lot has happened in such a short time. God has been showing me endless grace and been teaching me so much so I thought it’d be good to document and share with people what those things have been. I hope that these reflections can be an encouragement to you wherever and whoever you are and give you a sneak peek of my experiences on exchange. So here goes.

According to Myer-Briggs, I am an ESTJ and I found a statement on 16personalities.com that adequately describes how I felt in my first two weeks in Singapore.

“ESTJs are strong adherents to tradition and when suddenly forced to try unvetted solutions, they become uncomfortable and stressed.”

“Uncomfortable and stressed” are perfect words to describe the first two weeks and the reason the website states is also very accurate. Faced with unfamiliar environments, people and structures and no idea how to form structure and order in my life, I found myself extremely uncomfortable, stressed, fearful and lost (both mentally and physically). While there were many negative feelings, it wasn’t too difficult to see how God was shaping me through them.

1.  Fear of the unknown revealed what I had been clinging to

At UNSW, I was very comfortable. I knew where I was going, I knew where my classes were, I knew where to find people should I want company, I knew how my days looked, I knew the unspoken rules, status quo and language. Overall, I’d always felt although I have a general control over the small things in life at least. Even if my life was spiraling out of control, daily life of uni organized meticulously on my calendar made it predictable at least to some extent.

When I arrived at NTU, I was extremely disoriented, not to mention extremely tired from the flight and from RICE Rally which had occurred the day before I flew out (not to mention leg pain cos stairs at SSC). Suddenly, I had no idea where I was going, the campus map wasn’t helping, I had no one to text if I was lost. I felt like I had lost control over my life and it was no longer predictable and ordered like I liked it. Add to this the fear of wanting to feel at home where I was, make friends and be mentally comfortable – I was quite the mess.

The experience of the first week really revealed to me how weak I really am and how much I had clung to the familiarity and sense of control I had at home. In Sydney, I had prided myself for at least seeming like I had my life together, walking through campus purposefully and being known by the people I walked past. No matter what kind of persona I put up at home – although I had control over my life and ‘had my life together’, God reminded me that I really don’t and that He holds my life together. What a humbling experience to be getting lost walking through campus and realizing that I don’t have control over my life, being reminded that I had none of this control in Sydney either.

2.     Hoping in the Lord

After realizing that I can’t actually do anything on my own, and feeling generally quite down, I had to teach my conscience and my heart that my hope is not in how I ‘feel’ about everything, but in the cross of Christ. The cross shows me that God is on my side, loves me and that in everything He is working to working to transform me into His Son’s likeness. What a comfort to know that a sovereign God is working for His purposes no matter how things may seem. What got me through those random bursts of fear was knowing that God’s plan is the best plan and remembering all those other times I thought everything was falling apart but saw God’s plans and purposes in hindsight.

I had to learn to trust God and His purposes again. I thought I had understood this in light of long term plans and had closure. However, it is through these first few weeks that God taught me that my trust in Him isn’t just for the long-term plans but for the short days, weeks and months and the moments of anxiety about the next four months. 

3.     The beauty of Christian community

The timing at which I flew out of Sydney wasn’t ideal. I had really settled into community in my friendships, church, uni and various ministries and was immediately being removed from them. After being constantly surrounded by people I loved all the time (or at least have the anticipation of a meet-up in a few days or weeks), being suddenly ‘alone’ was difficult. In high school, my friends used to joke about how I had ‘isolophobia’ (a fear of being alone) and it’s true lol. I was deeply afraid of being alone.

Social media only made this worse as I saw snaps and Instagrams and heard stories of my friends hanging out with each other. Fomo is real and it sucks.

It is in this state that I began to plug myself into various Christian communities in Singapore. First was CU, the Christian group at NTU. After briefly meeting the leaders at their meeting, one of them invited me to eat breakfast with them. This small gesture meant the world to me as they welcomed me into their community. This attitude of welcoming continued into the weekend when I went on orientation camp with the whole group. I left reminded and amazed at the beauty of Christian community. Without having met any of them, I knew they were family.

One of the quiet times I did in Singapore was on 1 Corinthians 1. I usually skim past the introductory statements but this one stuck:

“Paul, called by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus, and our brother Sostenes,

To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”

1 Corinthians 1:1-3

In every place. What brings Christians together, no matter where they are geographically is that they are sanctified in Christ and that they call upon the name of Jesus!!!!!!!!! Time and time again, the Bible emphasizes unity in the body and building each other up (Galatians 3:26-29, Ephesians 4:1-16, 1 Corinthians 8-14 among many)

This was exemplified to me in the community of CU and also when I went to church that Sunday, as we sang, prayed, read and ate together. All those things I had treasured about community in Sydney were present here as well. It shouldn’t have been surprising, when you are part of the same body, the same family, it doesn’t matter where you live or what accent you speak with.

Church was another huge reminder of the reality of family in Christ. The first Sunday I went to The Crossing knowing only one person who was quite busy and wasn’t really available to continually chat with me. One thing I love about this church is that there’s a great system and culture in the welcoming team of introducing new people to others that would be helpful to them. It’s very intentional and I luv it. I was first introduced to one of the welcome team who then introduced me to a staff worker from Australia at NUS (not my uni but still) who informed me of the newcomers community group which I could join. Further, someone I met on the spot offered to introduce me to the CG leaders who joyously and willingly chatted with me and looked after me after service, introducing me to another girl who lived on campus and to someone who drove me home (some things just never change lmao).

I’ve really been loving church. Every single thing that happens in service every week is so intentional and I can really see the purpose behind every little thing. I love the people even though that may be because we’re all quite similar – young and educated. Most of them actually have studied overseas and so understand my feels of anxiety. Anyhow, I digress.

As I was saying, Christian community transcends physical boundaries and borders. This is relevant not only to relating to other Christians in Singapore but also with friends back at home. I want to take this opportunity to thank those people who took time to ask me how I was going and to continue in fellowship and friendship with me despite the physical distance. It means so much more than you think and I appreciate it heaps :) thank you for your prayers, thoughts and action. 

I’m thankful particularly for the lambhydra fam hahaha. We’ve been sharing prayer points more frequently and it’s been a huge encouragement to see how God has been working in their lives and to see them striving to become more Christlike in everything. They're a huge reminder, again, that the family of Christ is not restricted by physical boundaries. 

4.     Time

One of the biggest changes I was confronted with when I arrived was a sudden influx of free time. After my busiest semester yet, I had gotten used to a busy and frantic life and was suddenly confronted with having not much to do. I went from having to keep an academic requirement to having only to pass, I had no friends to meet up with (physically) and, perhaps most dramatically, no formal ministry to do.

I was restless at first, wanting to jump into some kind of ministry or anything really. I was scared and wanted to fill my time so that time would go faster and I could feel normal again (by normal I mean busy). Thankfully, there were mentors and friends in my life who had already warned me against this and I knew I shouldn’t commit to anything just for the sake of filling time.

Not long after the restlessness came the liberation. I had immense amounts of time and thus, a lot more mental space to think, pray and read. Life became just less frantic. I even walked slower. It’s amazing. I think the best thing that came out of this time was that I started to meditate on God’s Word and pray properly. Before I left, I was reading quickly and not really taking anything in and my prayer life was pretty bad. Since I’ve been here, I’ve been reading my Bible properly and spending ample time understanding and reflecting. I’ve had time and mind space to pray earnestly for my friends, who I unfortunately didn’t pray for properly before. I’ve had time and brain space to reflect and think about things – God, life, friends, ministry, future, all that jazz. I’ve had time to do things that I’d wanted to do but never had time for like sport, cooking classes and writing. I’ve had time for spontaneity! I no longer have to plan things weeks in advance because I have no free time (amazing). I’ve had the brain space to be thinking and caring for people around me and to be catching up with friends at home. I remember what people are doing every week, their prayer points and am able to actually follow up and ask them how they are attentively and intentionally instead of a quick catch up in a free hour. To put it plainly, I went from a Martha to a Mary – praise the Lord.

It’s been a really good break, really restful. Mentally, physically, spiritually. However, this freedom must be stewarded well. While rest is good and well, the temptation to be slothful and sit in bed on YouTube for hours (which I have admittedly done), to not be a diligent student and to be complacent is strong. Already, as I settle into routine and structure, I find myself being less mission-minded, less wary of how I can be building up my brothers and sisters and witnessing to the unbelievers around me (there are more of them now). This is a major prayer point and it would be awesome if I knew there were people praying for me :)

I’ve also learnt that having lots of time doesn’t mean I lose my limits. For some reason this was surprising to me and something I had to learn. Adjusting to a new environment is tiring, travelling is tiring, study is still tiring. After two weeks of going hard at everything because I could, I was exhausted. It humbled me and reminded me that all the things I had been learning at home about managing my priorities and energy and recognizing my limits

5.     Ministry

As I touched on earlier, the nature of my ministry has changed a lot since arriving. When before I had a calendar filled with meetings, meetups, events etcetcetc my calendar is empty and God has been challenging me to think about what ministry looks like away from formal structures.

The conversations about this had started literally a week before I left so I’m grateful I had some preliminary thoughts about it. I’ve been surprisingly (?) challenged about what it means to live as a Christian in every day life. I say surprising because I feel although it’s probably something I should’ve learnt earlier. But with such a packed schedule last semester, there wasn’t much “everyday life” left and even if there was I had barely any mind space to think about it. However, I do now!

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can be loving the people around me. I want to be building up the Christians around me and witnessing to the non-Christians. I want to be intentional with my decisions and time spent as a student, church member and Christian group member.  Praise God that He is teaching me that ministry isn’t about formal commitments but rather, simply obeying His Word daily and seeking to follow Him in the ‘ordinary’ parts of life.

Quite timely-ly, I started reading ‘Ordinary’ which speaks a lot about how culturally we tend towards doing more ‘radical’ ministry and in the process, neglect to live and love daily. I definitely had done this in Sydney, focusing so much time into formal ministry (with good intentions) but forgetting to treat my roles as a daughter, sister, friend and mentor as just as important, if not, more! When reflecting (because I have time to!!!!!!!!!), I’ve realized that the most impactful ministries in my life have mostly not been big events or organized structures but rather in conversations with mentors and friends where individual people have taught and loved me immensely simply by doing life with me, offering their thoughts as I make decisions and praying with me. I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to do this here and how to effectively balance between formal and ‘ordinary’ ministry but my prayer is that God will continue to guide me in my thinking and decision making around it.

Thank you all for your prayers and for taking the time to read the blog post haha

tl;dr – God has been teaching me lots about community, time, ministry and what I cling to through His Word, His people and in my time spent in reflection. I have a lot more time and I’ve been trying to navigate how to use it intentionally while also taking a good break from the expectations and responsibilities of home.

Also I started vlogging! Chuck me a message if you want to subscribe – the vlogs are unlisted so you’ll need to let me know if you want to watch them

Here's the first episode tho: https://youtu.be/hJ97Ems-7Lw