Around this time two years ago 10 scrawny little children were preparing to lead ISCF. Now, two day conferences, two camps, 2934823742 meetings and 23423987 ISCFs later we are leaving. Feeeeeels.
Today was our ISCF Farewell (surreal right?!) so I thought it'd be appropriate to write a blog post about what I learnt over the past two years or so. This is also my first public post so hello if you haven't been here before yaay welcome to blog woooo *confetti*
I have many thoughts on this and I just wrote a 1000+ word draft but I lost it when I exited the app so this might be a bit more structured. Will also include shoutouts and regrets and the sort.
Just a general note:
Leading ISCF for the past two years has been the most draining experience of my life. But it was probably also one of the hugest privileges of my life - being able to serve God in my school on, not only a weekly, but a daily basis. I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to lead with such an amazing group of people and to serve alongside some of the humblest, godliest people that I've met.
Anyhow, continuing....
1. Practical stuff
I remember when I first started leading studies. Oh my. That was great. As someone who was naturally confident, I had no qualms saying something during Bible the study. Little did I know, what you said was only part of it. Luckily, I had older leaders who coached me on the basics down to where in the group I sat and I have continued to pass these skills down to younger leaders. (Shoutout to Man Lok Wong). Of course there were also the other things we learnt like how to lead a study...how to write a study...how to control 100 teenagers...
2. The amazingness of the Bible
As I started to write studies, I became more and more interested and drawn in by the amazingness of the Bible. Before I started leading I was never really that interested in theology and kind of just read and applied. I had never considered context or read a passage in detail until I wrote my first study. When I started writing studies it opened my eyes up to how amazing the Bible actually is and how much we can draw out from it. This impacted hugely on my personal Bible reading and I continue to be growing at a much faster rate because of my constant engagement with the Word (hahaha capital Word aka 'logos') with both my heart and my head.
3. Loving on others
At the beginning of year 11, we also started mentoring. I was allocated two weirdos (jks). At first I was a little concerned as to how this was going to happen. I wasn't really the nurturing mothering type and in my life I hadn't had an older Christian girl to relate to or confide in. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to be a good mentor and that I would screw something up. That fortunately didn't happen mainly because we managed to foster a really strong friendship among the three of us. I've never really been the type to love on people just for the sake of it. While some would bake for their friends just to be nice, it wouldn't really be my thing to do. This worried me because I wanted so much to love these two and I was scared that I wouldn't be able to show it. However, I think throughout these two years God has really taught me what it means to love people. For some reason, I began to love on them just because I wanted to, not because they asked or because someone else told me to. It probably wasn't new to them but it was new to me and it was a huge step for me to look after two young people who weren't related to me. These days they just take my food but that's ok too I guess. Backtracking a bit, the older Christian girls that I HAD talked to seemed to distance themselves from me only ever asking about my spiritual life and seeming to hold a level of "righteousness" that I could never achieve. Because I am a very open person. Most of our mentoring sessions were made up of the three of us talking about our lives INCLUDING our spiritual lives. I think we've grown to be really good friends and I truly consider them to be two of my closest friends. This really taught me the importance of building relationships with those that I am trying to minster to. We talked about other things in our lives rather than just the "Hi. How are your quiet times? How is prayer? What do you think about leading soon?" and this really helped to foster a very solid relationship. When this is developed the spiritual talk will arise. Nowadays the conversation leans towards what we were supposed to be talking about in the first place, leading. If you ask them they might (I think) tell you that I've taught them a lot these two years but I think it's really through them that God has taught me a lot - about what it is to love. (Shoutout to Steph and Crystal I love you guys)
3. Servitude
ISCF took up a lot of my time. Around April 2013, we started functioning on our own and for me the workload was quite overwhelming. Suddenly there were studies to write, lists to make, schedules to create, violin parts to write and 50 gazillion google docs to record it on. Being the multitasking person I am I embraced the business and went on with it.
The real test, I think, came in when year 12 started and there was an increasingly higher opportunity cost (hahahhaa I love Eco) to be serving in ISCF. There was an HSC to study for now and that really challenged me about where my priorities should lie and what my actions showed about where those priorities were. I think it was largely due to my upbringing that I stayed firm and remembered that God's ministry was the most important work to be done (shoutout to Mum and Dad for always making me serve even when times were tough). I remember one particular time in the lead up to ISCF camp where I finally had a free night to study (YESSS). I studied for an hour and went on a study break on Facebook. Where I was immediately asked to compile a songlist. Normal reaction would be to say no and keep studying but - priorities lay in God's ministry and there went the next three hours (shoutout to you Hosea). It only got harder with year 12 and I am so thankful for the support as I went through this. (Shoutout to the team for helping eachother out when some were more stressed out than others)
4. Not doing it all
Being the person I am, I often find myself taking on a lot more than recommended and I demanded control over a lot of things. God taught me a lot about this these past two years, particularly this last one. First of all, to trust in Him because he has everything under control and secondly to trust my team. I knew I could do the second because I knew that they loved ISCF just as much as I did and would put the effort in. (Shoutout to Matthew Chiu and Jasleen Chew for not letting me do things and making me stop when I overloaded)
I remember one time I think at the beginning of this year, I was really frustrated about something that happened at ISCF and my Mum stopped me and told me: "Please remember that this is not your ISCF it is Jesus' ISCF and if he wants something to happen it'll happen." (shoutout to Mum) This was a great reminder because yes, ISCF takes up A LOT of time and I spent a lot of my time ministering to ISCF forgetting that they weren't my flock. They were only temporarily ours to look after and were, ultimately, God's children, not mine.
5. Not letting serving take over your life
A particular regret I have with this was at camp this year when I got barely any time to spend with the people there. For the whole four days I was either working or trying to grab some time to rest. When I was talking to people, my mind was preoccupied with the time and with what was happening next and I was continually zoning out and refocusing which was frankly just not nice to the other person. This struck me afterwards when follow-up was extremely difficult because I hadn't developed a strong relationship during the camp. However, while I didn't form close relationships with the kids, I gained some really valuable teaching from the older Christians at camp. (Shoutout to Ryan Yeomans, Jas Lau and James Chen. Two of which also introduced me to caffeine.........)
6. Friendships
Quite recently (I'm talking 5 months ago). God taught me a lot about the importance of building strong relationships within the team. Before this I had thought that we were there to get the job done, not to be best friends 5eva. Yes, our team was quite a fun one and I really miss our meetings where we would both be productive and have fun. We had a lot of fun together definitely (ahhh full day meeting memories), but we weren't best friends, we very rarely hung out all together by choice and while there were close friendships among us we weren't really that tight as a group. THOUGH we did do a team bonding activity at Christmas which I found quite successful. After working with someone who I just did not work well with and also wasn't really close to, I realised that it is really important to build relationships within a team. (Disclaimer: Edmund Lau is a great guy). Once I started working more closely with someone else, I found that our friendship made the partnership a lot more effective both in the Common Room and on google docs and as a result, Bible studies were a lot more effective - it was better for everyone. However, I have to say that this also had a lot to do with his adaptability but friendship helped too. (Shoutout to Clement Ngai)
7. It's all about God
Serving God is all about God. Funny huh? Never would've thought. All jokes aside, I think this fact is easy to get lost when in ministry. Maybe just for me, maybe for everyone. In the midst of all the files, meetings, spreadsheets and thoughts, it's very easy to lose track of why we do this. Luckily for me, God reminded me that it was all about Him on a weekly basis. When I was leading studies, there would be moments when the kids' faces would light up and you knew they just understood something and the lightbulb moment had arrived. Not any old lightbulb moment, they just learnt something about God. There were moments when I was leading where I saw them in awe of God's Word and just hungering for more and more. I remember particularly, moments at camp this year in session when everyone was focused on the song or the talk. These moments remind me that with the millions of documents and spreadsheets, it all ultimately came down to God, His name and His glory. And when I saw the kids understanding and encountering God, all the exhaustion and stress was so worth it, because He was bringing His children closer and He used me! Some random.
To the NSGB ISCF Leadership Team 2013-14: Thank you for the past year and for putting up with my quick temper. Each of you have taught me something valuable even if I haven't mentioned it in this post. Thank you for all the friendships we built these past two year and for all the memories we made together, they will stay close to my heart for a long time. Being completely dead after 6 hours of talking, waiting for the slow pizza man, imitating Clement, KK presents and so many more I can't remember right now. I was a huge pleasure serving with you all and I wouldn't have wanted to spend the last two years with any other people. Thank you for being motivated, determined, innovative and hilarious all at the same time :)
To NSGB ISCF: I probably told you today at farewell but thank you for coming to ISCF every week. It has been a huge encouragement to see all your faces and to watch you grow in your love for Christ (and in height). It has been a joy to see all of you interested and awed by God's Word and I pray that all of you will grow to be amazing and faithful men and women of God. I will miss you all a lot.
To the NSGB ISCF leaders of the past: Thank you for all your prayers and everything you have done to shape ISCF into what it is now. Without you, there would be no ISCF and no matter how big or small ISCF was when you were leading, your legacy has lived on. Thank you especially, to those leaders who led me. The things you taught me have shaped so much of who I am today and I am so grateful that God gave me such amazing people to teach it to me. Never doubt the impact you had in your short two years. I am so honoured to be associated with you as NSGB ISCF.
To the NSGB ISCF leaders of the future: I'm sure you guys will be fantastic. I pray that God will teach you as much as he taught me as you spend two years leading an incredible group of high schoolers and that you will continue to grow them to become spectacular men and women of God. Never doubt your impact on the people you are leading and the legacy you will probably leave. All the best - you are so privileged to have this opportunity.
and thank you to you who actually read this whole post.
This is me, signing out.
